The Parent Connection

I attended Judge David's symposium on youth last week. A recurring theme was how very important parents are in the success of a child. The key speaker in the morning was Hassan Davis, a reformed lawyer with so many things stacked against him it is a wonder he is still alive, not in prison, or mired in poverty. He tells the story of the first time his mother picked him up from jail. He was 10 years old the first time he was arrested. He was prepared for a Jerry Springer-type dressing down. His mother was very quiet. When she spoke , she said, "Hassan, If you could see in the mirror the person that I see you can be..." His life hinged on those words. They were always there when he got in trouble, and that was often.

I read the book Life on the color Line, by Greg Williams. He chronicled his life growing up in Muncie, in the 1950's. It was an eye opening book in many ways. It describes poverty that I do not want to think about existing. He went from being considered "Italian" to living in Muncie as a black. His mother abandoned his family, and his father was a grifter with no parenting skills. An interesting point in the book is the difference in the way he and his brother were treated by his father. Greg was always the smart one. Greg was the one who will make something of himself. There was always more expected of him than his younger brother. His younger brother was taught the shell game early, because " he is like his father." Very little good is expected of him. How would their lives have been different if the younger brother had been expected to make something of himself? Greg asks this question in the last chapters of the book.

It is critical that a child have goodness and success spoken into his life. They need to see that vision in someone else's eyes.