Where His Feet Pass

We sang the hymn" Morning has Broken" yesterday during church. The phrase "Sprung in completeness Where God's feet pass" jumped off the page. I work for a public school. I believe in a God who desires relationship with his creation, but I cannot speak those words. I work with children whose lives have been so awful, that only a savior who has suffered the ultimate pain and rejection can relate to them and understand their anger,and lead them to the forgiveness that will make them whole.

I will let my feet walk through their lives, and follow God's spirit showing consistent patience and love, and pray that completeness will spring from our passing.

Nobody Nowhere

"Nobody Nowhere"

I just finished this book by Donna Williams. It is a good easy read written by Donna who is autistic. She chronicles her life through her eyes. It really helps to understand the many coping mechanisms that autistic children find. It brings home the fact that autistic children are not incapable of emotion, it is just so painful to them that they find ways to block it. It also struck me how painful the teasing and bullying was, even with all the coping techniques. There is one child in our class that has not been diagnosed as such, however has many of the same techniques. It has been an eye-opener.

Job Training

I attended a one day crisis intervention training this week.I always come back with a new insight. There is a pattern that incidents follow. It starts with anxiety, which can be picked up in little signs, like tapping a pencil or drumming fingers. If we can figure out these little signs, which are different in individuals, sometimes we can diffuse the anxiety. One of the children in my classroom, pushes his chair back, says, "Are you trying to make me angry," and just dares you with a stare. Not much warning, as far as we have picked up on yet. But even this can sometimes be diffused with the right body language, and calm non-combative support.

I realized there is a point where there is no logic or reason possible. It is not always a physical outburst, the same loss of reason is true in verbal outbursts.

I also learned that these outbursts are usually more traumatic for the caretaker-teacher, than they are for the child. Many of these children come from homes where their actions are normal. The kids, quite often, do not even realize they are doing anything wrong, or feel remorse.

It is a real puzzle, to bring these kids along, without giving in, to choose the fights that will grow them, and to keep them safe and their families sane when the fights will not go away.

Reflections

The sky was a delicate shade of Peach as I looked out my
kitchen window this morning, so I decided to look for the sunrise in the east. There was a brilliant spot of gold peaking through the top of a cornfield. The horizon was clear, but a wall of clouds followed closely. It was glorious. Pure gold would not have shone any brighter than the bottom line of this formation. The colors went from brilliant gold and oranges to pastels, to the dark blue- gray of clouds who were completely shut out from the sun.

I am always inspired to praise my Creator when he paints such masterpieces. I got to thinking how the clear sky is always wonderful and encouraging, But His light shining on thick clouds, or adversity, truly paints the most powerful and memorable picture.

Waiting

I went to a visitation for the mother of a family friend this week. It was a two hour wait in line. I was hoping to spend a half hour, to encourage and show a friend support.

As I stood alone for about two hours, my mind started comparing the behavior of these people, with the fifth graders at school. No-one was yelling, "He cut," or "I was here first." No one was whining about how long it was taking, how hungry they were, or why did I have to be here anyway. Sometimes when I get tired, I start having very strange mental images.

Will my kids at school ever be adults? Will they ever be able to put the needs of others above their own needs? I do not think all of them will make it to that point, but it is why I chose the job that I did. There are so many things they need to learn if they are ever going to be functioning adults, and it is not all math, reading, and science.

How many things can break in one household in one weekend

Two cars, an air conditioner, two lawn mowers, and a bathroom floor.What a frustrating weekend! My car will start and run, it just can't be turned off without pulling the fuse to a computer chip, and disconnecting the battery. Husband's car sprung a sizable leak in a gas line. The soonest we can get a vehicle in for service is Wednesday. The lawn is still growing like crazy, and the rider won't start. Parts are here to fix the push mower, but the cars suddenly took priority. The blower motor quit on the air conditioner. It is hot and humid still, and we really need to keep the house closed as much as possible to control the ragweed pollen in the house. We live hand to mouth, so there are no small money issues.

How much frustration is one family asked to take?

As much as we are given. It's easy to say "we don't walk alone." It's another thing to let the peace that passes understanding rule over the human frustration and emotion.

I am finding it much easier to deal with, when I am not dealing with physical pain that keeps me immobilized.

I have a lot to learn about walking with God.

Today the scripture has been fulfilled....

"The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me,
Because He anointed Me to preach the gospel to the Poor.
He has sent Me to proclaim release to the captives.
and recovery of sight to the blind,
to set free those who are downtrodden,
To proclaim the favorable year of the Lord....
Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing." lk. 18-21



Nothing short of Jesus' hand will give us the key to set free many of the children's lives that I work with. I can help them find keys to what triggers their young minds to retreat to a different place, and how to get to a better place. Nothing short of Jesus love can heal the deeply hurt places in their young lives. Though I can not speak this love in the school setting, I can let it flow through me. I can call for wisdom to help me through this minute-by-minute changing landscape of highly charged emotions and reactions.