The Parent Connection

I attended Judge David's symposium on youth last week. A recurring theme was how very important parents are in the success of a child. The key speaker in the morning was Hassan Davis, a reformed lawyer with so many things stacked against him it is a wonder he is still alive, not in prison, or mired in poverty. He tells the story of the first time his mother picked him up from jail. He was 10 years old the first time he was arrested. He was prepared for a Jerry Springer-type dressing down. His mother was very quiet. When she spoke , she said, "Hassan, If you could see in the mirror the person that I see you can be..." His life hinged on those words. They were always there when he got in trouble, and that was often.

I read the book Life on the color Line, by Greg Williams. He chronicled his life growing up in Muncie, in the 1950's. It was an eye opening book in many ways. It describes poverty that I do not want to think about existing. He went from being considered "Italian" to living in Muncie as a black. His mother abandoned his family, and his father was a grifter with no parenting skills. An interesting point in the book is the difference in the way he and his brother were treated by his father. Greg was always the smart one. Greg was the one who will make something of himself. There was always more expected of him than his younger brother. His younger brother was taught the shell game early, because " he is like his father." Very little good is expected of him. How would their lives have been different if the younger brother had been expected to make something of himself? Greg asks this question in the last chapters of the book.

It is critical that a child have goodness and success spoken into his life. They need to see that vision in someone else's eyes.

Intentionality

Our Pastor keeps using that word in his sermons. Jesus knew what he was doing. He was not just reacting to money-changers in the temple, hungry people, scared apostles.

Everytime I hear the word it is like a lightningbolt. There is intentionality in my life also, I just don't have a clue what the intention is. God has the plan, and there is purpose in all of it. Sometimes I can look back a few days, and say "Wow, I'm glad God prepared the way." Some things I will never understand in this life.

God prepared a very deep place of peace in my heart two weeks ago. I did not know what brought it on. I needed that peace to deal with a very disturbing accusation that followed. I am so glad God prepared the way.

what keeps me sane?

I laugh a lot. I hug a lot. I play with my grandchildren. I watch people. I watch children. I hug, play and laugh with them. I try to faithfully do the work I am committed to. I try to make a difference for the better in the lives of people around me. I try to problem solve. If I am in the dumps more than a day at a time, I try to jumpstart my mood with heart raising activity. I pray without ceasing. I remember who I am , and where I come from.

What's for Dinner?

I was asked to read John 6:16-26 and form some questions and comments. There is a lot going on in these verses. Jesus has just fed a large crowd. The crowd would like to take Jesus and make him King, so he hides from them. The Disciples have gone ahead, without Jesus, across the sea toward Capernaum. Jesus walks to them at night in a turbulent sea, and goes on to Capernaum with them. The crowd eventually looks for and finds Jesus in Capernaum.

What has stuck with me is what Jesus says to the crowd when they find him. He says" you follow me because I fed you when you were hungry, and for free". (from the Message)

Does it impress me who Jesus is? Do I care How much he has paid for me. Do I care what his purpose in my life is? Do I only go to him when I want something?

Will I pick up "fast food" somewhere else if I do not like the menu God has planned.

I have been starting my prayers the past few days by just saying, "Whats for dinner?" It 's our little inside joke. It helps me remember how priveleged I am just to be able to come before our God, to stand in his presence.

If you feed them they will come.

For Mother's day last year, My Husband hung a bird feeder outside my Kitchen window. My son and his fiance bought flowers, and I prettied up a nothing little spot in my back yard. I gaze out that window many hours a week. I am probably the only one who will enjoy this, but it sure lifts the spirits. I should have done that ten years ago.

It is now March 15, and finally I have birds to watch. I have about four different kinds feeding regularly, but I have no clue what they are. Note to children, a bird book would be a marvelous Mother's day gift this year.

Straight to the Heart

I have been getting really discouraged watching Mitch, my 16-year-old, suffer with migraines. My heart is tied directly to him. When he feels good after a bad spell I get absolutely giddy.

Sunday night and Monday morning I was in a very deep depression. Depression is a very lonely place to be. It is just too much effort to connect with anyone, even God. Yet God was whispering, I am here, Anne. Find your song. You need to sing to me.

There is only one place to go to find the kind of song needed here and that is David's psalms. It was a revelation to me. God held David's pain in the center of his heart. When David started to pour his pain out to God, God gave him our most intimate vision of our Savior's suffering. When I pour my pain out to God, he gives me this same intimacy. God holds my pain in the center of his heart. He has poured into my heart a taste of the sorrow he has suffered for me. There is a peace and strength in this place where I am loved and treasured by my God.

I really miss teaching Sunday School

It has been a month since I developed a lesson and taught Sunday school, and I miss it. There is no such thing as a simple lesson. I learn atleast as much as the kids do, although some lessons need to be made more palatable for a young child.

A lesson in point is the week we talked about David's sin. There were so many lessons to be learned from the life of David that we spent 4 or 5 weeks on him. Obviously, three-year-olds do not need to hear the whole story of David and Bathsheba. They can understand the concept of sin, however. They know when they have done something wrong, and they try to hide it. David did the same thing, he tried to hide his sin and it just got worse and worse and worse until he confessed it to God. The way I explained it is I brought a black balloon. the first bad thing David did was a little air in the balloon, and I tried to put it in my pocket at that time. Every time he did something bad to try to hide it I put more air in the balloon, til there was no way to hide the balloon anywhere. We popped the balloon when he confessed his sin.

give your requests

I was reading over my notes from the last conference I attended on behavior management . One suggestion is to never give an authoritative command, but to state your request, then walk away. Give the child time to process and respond, then go back to him if you need to. Be sure to use his name and have his attention, but too much talking at him will just be so much noise he will not be able to process.

Hmm, not exactly my parenting style.

Perfect love casts out fear

It is not that we love, but that God first loved us.
My love is definetely not perfect. Yet I rail, I throw tantrums for my Father God. If He is in control why am I suffering. Why are my children suffering. I hate this poverty that is my constant companion. I hate the sickness and physical challenges plaguing my family. If He loves me so much why does He not heal my sorrows. I hate this struggle.

Why does God not smite my impertinence?

Yes, I have a two-year-old mentality. God is my Father, and He is the keeper of my life. There is no hiding my emotions from Him, so I may as well lay them out for Him. I believe absolutely that God is, and that he is in control. I sure don't understand and agree with many things, but then, I am the two-year-old. When I look at what he has suffered to bring me in to this father\child relationship with him, I am calmed and humbled. It is God's perfect love for me that gives me the privelege of coming before Him as His child. It is My Savior's suffering that paid the price of my adoption.

As I give my anger to God, he frees me to look for peace as I ask it of Him. It is hard to find peace if I lay the source of my, or my children's, sorrow anywhere but at the feet of God. I can always find someone to blame. As a child of God I realize there is one who has the name "the accuser of the saints," and he should not have my help.

Who reads this stuff?

Go back to that amazing hair day.
"Enter a world of botanical bliss and unleash the power of your naturally beautiful hair. Embracing you like a meadow of fresh flowers,..."
I was soaking away a sinus headache in my bath, when my eyes lit on the shampoo bottle. How many people stop to read this drivel before they buy the shampoo. How many people have ever read this label at all?

I was reminded of a friend who complained her five-year-old son takes all the cans out of the cabinet so he can read the labels. Well alright, this must be more pleasant than a warning label, and not a bad practice session for a new reader. I must admit that I responded much better to the lovely roses viewed through the pale pink shampoo.

So many people, so many differences. We all respond and learn through different senses and methods. No one teaching method fits all. A good classroom incorporates as many ways to learn as possible- seeing, hearing, and doing. It always surprises me when some of my pre-school Sunday-school students, who I expect to have short attention spans, will want to do one activity and stay there.

So many differences in God's creatures. Like the myriad colors of a raindrop sparkling in a sun-kissed blade of grass...