Letting your heart walk around outside your body

That is how to describe raising children.
I have never hurt as badly for myself as I have for my children. My son is having recurrent awful migraines. Why, why God. He can not keep up with his school work, and not only does the school not show him any grace, they lose the work so he needs to do it twice. The added stress has redoubled the onslaught of migraines. This is not his fault. He does not deserve this. All he has ever done is make me smile, and forgive. It's just not fair.

I slipped into the sanctuary yesterday to cry my heart out to God. The empty tomb consoled me. Jesus walked the earth two thousand years ago, speaking truth, healing, loving and forgiving. He did not deserve what we gave him. It was not his fault. It just was not fair. And His Father left him hang on that horrible cross. How could He do that. Does He love us that much?

a good little monkey

I framed a child's drawing of Curious George
this week. My mind has been revisiting the wonderful memories of reading bedtime stories to my boys. There were so many fun favorites like "The Diggingest Dog," and "The Duck on the Truck." I had a wonderful version of "Uncle Remus" that used the dialect in a way I could not re-create on my own. "The relatives Came," by Cynthia Rylint, was at our house more than it was at the library. The visual and literary images took me home to my own family that I miss so much. "They had an old station wagon that smelled like a real car, and in it they put some balogna sandwiches...and up they came." "You had to go through atleast six different hugs to get from the living room to the kitchen. Those relatives!"

Curious George is still one of my all time favorites. He got in so much trouble just being a curious little monkey, and so much more trying to fix things. I can Identify with this little monkey. I never mean to cause trouble or hurt people, but I do. I'm very sorry. Thank goodness for unconditional love in the man with the big yellow hat. Thank goodness for unconditional love in My Savior!

Relationships

The father \child relationship is a picture of our relationship to our God. The Husband \wife relationship is a picture of Christ's relationship to the church.

What a difference in those two. I want my Father to provide for me, to fix all my problems, to comfort me. Well, that works for a child anyway.

Now I should be an adult. This Husband \wife relationship implies partnership. This wife has a tendency to withdraw into herself when problems arise, while the husband wants relationship, and physical comfort. It is always best to seek the relationship , even when it is not the natural tendency. I know there is something spiritually very profound here. I think I will just let my mind work on this for a while, let me know if you come up with something.

What's in a Name

On Saturday our church had a "40 Days of Community"kick-off program. About 20 children aged 4 thru 14 were together in one classroom. Four of these are diagnosed in the autistic spectrum. As the leader kept repeating instructions, with little success and much frustration, I remembered something I gleaned from my last special needs seminar. If you do not use the child's name, He does not think you are talking to him.He is not being bad, or disrespectful. He is just not getting it that you are talking to him.

I am reminded that the bible talks several times about our own names. One I like to muse on, is that I will have a new name, given to me by my Creator, Savior. Will I respond better to him when he calls me by that name? Will it be what he treasures most about me?

chaos vs. order

The need for order is impressed on me every time I attend a seminar on special needs ministry. It is very important to arrange a room neatly and have things in place in order to start a class with a good comfort level, not only for autistic children, but all people. I become frustrated and tire easily when working with people who are unpredictable.

MAPS

Son Josh got a call from National Geographic Maps to talk about a job opening. How cool is this!! When Josh was two he loved to watch PBS shows about different cultures, like Nepal.We gave him a world map for Christmas when he was three, and we would find the countries on the map. He knew how long it took to drive to grandma's house 300 miles away, and by showing him different scales, city, count, state, country and world he learned early the concept of maps. did I mention the job is in Colorado, which is a beautiful place to visit. We also have family there. I hope he gets the offer.

What makes you do what you do?

I attended a behavior modification seminar yesterday, put on by Special Olympics. I came away with two main thoughts.

We all have history, our actions are connected to who we are. I do not know anyone that does not have idiosyncracies that people who live with them expect and adjust to.

It is our job to educate and nurture our children so that they can function in society. The key to doing this is connecting to and knowing what makes our children tick. We can then adjust their environment, and respond to them in ways that will nurture and not harm them.